Wednesday, May 16, 2007

New Species

Not known for frequenting berry patches, this specimen was found in a staff meeting. As you can tell by the ratio of notes to drawn strokes, it was a very productive meeting...for me. Click the image for a closer look. I am accepting Latin taxonomy suggestions in the comments.


**Addendum**
If any of you can come up with specifications on this beast, please suggest. Size, habitat, diet, level of education; put it in the comments.

10 comments:

Panhandle Poet said...

Lepidoptra giraffenseii comes to mind. Nice artwork! (Credit for the name goes to my spouse, the Wildlife Management major in college.)

aA said...

Panhandle: i think she nailed it! we'll see if we get any others...if we don't get any better, she can print out a copy of the beast and put her name by it as co-discover-er-ess!

Panhandle Poet said...

L. girafenseii is about the size of a hummingbird and dwells in the jungles of Guatemala. It primarily lives on the nectar of the rare Guachacoatl blossom. In Mayan mythology, the L. girafenseii heralded the coming of the new earth and preceded the peoples entry through the portal of life. It is rarely recognized today due to most observers confusing it with the Tooth Fairy. Obviously, such observations are rarely reported for fear of public ridicule. It is hoped that National Geographic will feature it in one of their upcoming film projects. The trouble is they are having difficulty locating a credible researcher willing to risk their career due to skepticism of the existence of this rare creature. In the event that no one else will attempt the project, they have contacted Michael Moore, knowing that he would be likely to take on such a task. The film may hinge on Michael's ability to operate outside of Cuba -- which may be in doubt. It is rumored, via Fred Thompson, that Michael may soon be entering rehab in one of Castro's famous mental institutions.

aA said...

Profoundly great!

Well, profoundly great for made-up smart-alecky nonsense! You obviously have a poetic flair for such communication.

HEY, can anybody else top THIS?

Rob V. said...

This is a Texas Longneck Jeezerfly, a particularly obnoxious pest due to the dangerous combination of large size and extreme clumsiness. A typical adolescent Jeezerfly is generally about the size of a horse and a fully-grown adult can be twice the size of a giraffe. They have an affinity for beer, which they guzzle in huge amounts through their proboscis. When a Jeezerfly becomes intoxicated (which is frequently) he becomes especially clutzy and tends to smash into things and can cause a lot of damage. But they do have a friendly disposition and they are very apologetic when they smash things up. They are often heard remarking: "Oh, Jeez, I'm so sorry." Some believe that's how the name "Jeezerfly" originated.

aA said...

RobV is apparently well-versed in the building of literary nonsense. This is going to be tough!

Anonymous said...

Duh! It's a Buttegiraffafly. They are about as big or a little bigger than a unicorn, who they are very close friends with along with the fairies and sprites. They are very fun to be around and are quite the practical jokers around the forest. It seems that the sprites and the fairies are very gullible and are constantly stepping in steaming piles of a stinky flaming pile of "something" outside their doors. The Buttegiraffafly is careful to leave hoof prints leading them directly to the unicorn's dwelling. I know, poor unicorn. Sprites and fairies can be a nasty lot if pushed! As it happens, the Buttegeraffafly is an endangered species because surprisingly, their main source of nutrition is from seaweed and they are scared to death of water. Wierd huh? If you are interested please send donations to: savethebuttegiraffe.com

aA said...

i wonder if the gullible sprites and fairies will donate on the website...

Rob V. said...

aArron, you seem to have created something that is taking on a life of its own. Bizarre how simply doodling during a routine business meeting can lead to something so entertaining. Anyway, more on the Texas Longneck Jeezerfly -- Regarding "level of education," he was expelled from the seventh grade and was so humiliated he never returned to school. Friends and relatives feel that's why he has such a low self-esteem and it's why he has a drinking problem. Folks call him "Shorty" to poke fun of his enormous size, which further exacerbates his self-esteem problem. Shorty would like to get professional help, but has not been able to find a shrink's office he can fit into. Meanwhile, he continues to clumsily flap around smashing into things ...

aA said...

rob, you are weaving a sad tale for this creature. he may qualify for government relief. keep it going, i could get rich off this guy!