Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Young Knuckleheads

Now THIS is a geezer rant, even more so than any others so far posted. It has been building a long time, and if I don't vent now, I may run over a teenager.

It seems that many of the nation's young people have not been taught either (a) the physics of moving automobiles, or (b) common courtesy and rules of the road.

I take one of my daughters to the high school every morning, and every morning I fume at the majority of the pedestrians who walk as slowly as they please (which is fine, really) in the middle of the parking lot thoroughfares (which is the main problem. Most walk in little klatches yakking with their little friends, yakking on their cell phones, or just trudging sullenly (but cooly) to class. The only problem is that the little klatches of yakkers are walking three or four across when there are cars approaching from each direction trying to get other students to class on time. Not only do they walk slowly, four abreast, but the line they choose to cross the lane is usually a very shallow diagonal line, covering as much of the drivable space as they can for as long as they can. And they'll look you right in the eye with an indignant deadpan and take a pace that would leave them in the dust at a retirement home.

Sometimes, I confess, I get as close to them as possible as I squeak past them. I have threatened to honk (well, I actually HAVE honked, but not lately) to the mortification of my girl.

So, fair reader, if you haven't instilled in your teenage son or daughter the importance of proper parking lot ettiquitte, or the fact that a geezer just might run up their back if they don't move out of the way, please do so. Soon.

There, I feel a little better, but being rushed, I haven't raved enough on this subject. If we happen to run into each other in Walmart, don't bring up this subject if you have somewhere to go; I have a whole routine churning within.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Mommie Dearest

My sister emailed me this story of a tigress who lost her preemie cubs and was pining (apparently). The zookeepers were trying to find surrogate tiger-style cubs but were unsuccessful. Someone hit upon the notion that they could make pigs in a blanket and satisfy the tigress’ maternal longing. So they literally put some piglets in little tiger print blankets and the mother took them in instantly. She is apparently happy with the arrangement.

Thus far.

I am not advocating something callous or crass here, but I wonder if someone were to perhaps slip some pork in to the feed mix for Mommie Dearest, would she, upon tasting it say, “Hmm, this tastes familiar, what is it…I just can’t quite place it…”. The next time she gave her cub-lets a lick-bath, would she have the same reaction? Or would it be an epiphany? “My babies are made of…..pork!”

I can only imagine her joy when she finds that her cubs are actually edible and of a flavor that is preferred by tigers four to one!

Why do I think of these things? I don’t know. Maybe I’m a little mean. Maybe I’m a tad twisted, perhaps I’m desperate for a posting on my blog. Or maybe just a little hungry. For bacon.

I will want to follow this story into the future, to see sow it turns out. But I most likely won’t boar you with the details.

Drought Broken

Yes, the long post-holiday drought is broken with this small drop of rain.
It's really just a token post to let my fan know that I am still in the game.

There's one cooking, though, and it won't be too long till i post it. Really.