Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Words DO Kinda Rhyme…



One night after a particularly spicy dinner, I found that I needed some help in the stomach acid department, as in a reduction thereof. I went to the medicine cabinet in the kitchen and began to rummage through the products kept there.

My middle gal was playing with the dog in the kitchen and saw me fumbling with the package of acid reducer tablets. They were housed in the nearly impenetrable blister pack; solid Plexiglas to view the tablet, the back encased in plastic covered by sixteen gauge stainless steel, and all of it as slick as possum gravy.

My ever-helpful lass noticed my struggle and asked what I was getting. “Heartburn medicine…” was my reply.

“Didn’t Mom do that earlier?”

“Huh?

“Never mind, I’ll get it for you…”

“Thanks!” I replied, drying my hands off.

I turned away for a second and when I turned back around, I saw my dear, sweet daughter about to feed my acid reducer to the dog! As a matter of fact, the little pink tongue of our Pomeranian was unfurling in slow motion to accept the treat from her beloved master.

A fraction of a second before the pup’s tongue touched my over-the-counter medication; I snatched it from my girl’s fingers.

“What are you!?...That’s my medicine!”

She burst out laughing, nearly uncontrollably, and I couldn’t help but join her, tentatively.

When she gained a measure of composure, she managed to choke out haltingly, “I thought you said ‘heartworm medicine’!”

Well, that was just it. We all laughed and laughed, and her cryptic statement from earlier about Mom blah blah blah made perfect sense.

So dear readers, please enunciate very, very clearly anytime the words “burn” and “worm” are used. You may get something you don’t want.

Or your dog might.

12 comments:

the photoSmith said...

Either way you would have been a healthier pup... glad to see you've re-discovered your blog, it's been weeks since we've heard from you and now three in one day!

aA said...

When i have something to type the entries on, i do pretty good!

Thanks for noticing!

DammitWoman said...

I have also missed your writings. This was worth the wait though. Possum gravy?????

aA said...

thanks! as greeezy as possums are, it would be assumed that the gravy thereof would be slippery...

invigilator_tex said...

Antacids and chili dogs go together.

thud.

aA said...

Tex, ya nailed it!

Rob V. said...

I can relate one time when the word "burn" and "worm" went together. It was when I was just a boy on a hot summer day and discovered the magic that could be produced when I focused a beam from a magnifying glass. Had a blast burning up some earthworms. But the smell was awful.

aA said...

...but highly nutritious, Mr V!

Howlsatmoon said...

Onlyest time I use the two in the same sentence is when I'm describing my golf stroke.

I gots me one helluva "wormburner"......

Robert M said...

Are you sure your daughter didn't give you the heartworm pills?

aA said...

Wollf: Just don't mistakenly give your "wormburner" to yer doggie...or take it yourself, for that matter!

Mr. M: Now that you mention it, I HAVE been feeling a little better lately! Maybe it WAS the dog's meds...and the dog hasn't been belching and tapping her sternum with her paw-fist as much, either!

Suzanne said...

Hahaha! I enJOEYed that story, it's so cute ;)