Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Missed by "That Much"...

Well, my superior sense of balance coupled with my cat-like reflexes kept me from falling in H.E.B. this morning after slipping on a wayward, semi-escaped red seedless grape.

Unfortunately, as he was cleaning up my evidence, the produce guy told me that they just paid someone $5000 for slipping on a grape in that store.

Dangit. Had I let my prodigious weight carry me to the floor, (in front of several witnesses) I may have limped out with a cool five grand!

Instead, I will bear the lingering soreness that older fellas carry when they move too quickly without proper notice.


Trixie said...

To paraphrase Fred G. Sanford, "Ya Big Dummy!"

invigilator_tex said...

You might still slip on one of those super sized chunks o meat mined outta yer head, dude.

"Hey lookie over there, boss; that customer just tripped over a pot roast. Better call the lawyer man."

I once broke a bottle of wine at the checkout counter at a Kroger. The cleanup guy was pleased as punch to mop it all up.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm...I'd compare shop though. Do you know how much, say, Kroger's might offer you? That way you can bargain. You might lose a hip or a leg but $10,000 just might compensate! ;)

aA said...

Good thinkin' "anonymous", there's lots of them stores all over the place!

i_Tex; if you squeeze out the mop then strain it, it's a nice little pick-me-up on checkout #4!

Anonymous said...

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
-Ambrose Bierce