Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Camp Coffee Revisited

Being a Coffee Ninny, it’s not too hard to get on my wrong side when you are a cup of Joe. Too much creamer, not enough sugar, bitter, weak, or one of the worst, crunchy.

I have made Camp Coffee before; one of those desperate afternoons when sleep sneaks up the back of your neck, pushes your head forward and clamps down over your eyes. Happens about twice a week these days. That’s when I trudge to the office down the hall for a nudge of java.

On arrival, I found that Nicole was brewing up a pot or two for a meeting that was impending. She told me that one cup wouldn’t hurt, so go ahead. Such a nice girl.

I already had my sugar and creamer in there, so I poured the coffee into the waiting cup. Even before I stirred the medication, I saw black dots swirling and dancing in the tawny pool, giving evidence that the filter had fainted in the basket, as it had done to me.

I notified the hostess, to which she replied with a shocked look, then an exasperated sigh. That was the second time today and the third time in a week that it had happened to her. I suggested that she drop some eggshells in the pot to settle the wayward grounds, the same way Gabby Hayes would have.

She considered it for a second, I think. Perhaps it was just a ruse to placate me, a geezer, reluctant as I am to see anything wasted. Her pause was short-lived though, and she poured it down the sink and swished out the carafe.

Exiting the kitchenette, I stirred my cup and tried to remind myself that I’ll either need to strain it through my moustache, or just not slam it down my throat.

All it took was about 15 minutes and what did I do? Yep, I drank deeply from the cup of life, and ended up spitting coffee nubs out for the next few minutes.

Mental Note: Read mental note you make for yourself or it is a waste of time to make a mental note.


invigilator_tex said...

Back in the good ol' days that young lass might have quickly strained the grains out through a pair of panty hose, but it's come to this geezer's attention that the young girls no longer wear these things. Perhaps we could initiate a comeback of the nylon stocking for just such an emergency?
Naw! Pour that chunky coffee out and keep the bare legs in I say.

aA said...

tex, you have a solution for everything...we need to find a use for that...somewhere!

invigilator_tex said...

Yes Sir,

I've got all the answers to questions no one ever asks.

I'll let you in on a little secret. Hints from Helloise. She gets her answers from me. I take 50%, she gets to use her mamma's name. Who'd ever believe Hints from Invigilator_tex anyways?

Rob V. said...

To see a really cool coffee-related poster, click on this link ...


dammit woman said...

You are such a crack up. What a joy you must be to work with. Amusing and easily amused.... quite the combo.

Anonymous said...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. A few grounds in your coffee or elixir of life is just an added little spice of life.

It's kind of like finding sand in your scallops. You notice them but it sure as heck doesn't stop you from eating them.

Besides, a few grounds will just put more hair on your chest. Or in your case, your back.

aA said...

dean, you're a real philosopher...