Weather AlertSchool Closings

It has become evident by the reports from the National Weather Service, local newsreaders and smokers just in from lunch at the District Office that the extreme amount of sunshine and mild, mid-fifties temperatures are going to cause problems in keeping the college open.

Due to these severe weather-related conditions, it is advised that everyone from students to staff and especially administration at San Jacinto College should stay apprised of the situation by remaining glued to the television set in lieu of attending class, just to see if their campus is affected.

“Gaah, the sun is so, like BRIGHT, I could hardly drive to the Chik-Fil-A without squinting my eyes completely shut…” said one staffer.

Students are jamming the phone lines asking if classes will be cancelled today. The Executive Council is monitoring the situation and will make an announcement when the conditions warrant action.

While the weather is indeed extremely well-lit and temperate, many of the affected populations agree that no one should be expected to have to attend work or school under such extreme circumstances.

It has become apparent that the window for weather conditions has become even more narrow before the students call and ask to be relieved of class duties.